The Fourth of July

We kept the kids up late last night...we were hoping they would sleep in. 6AM on the dot the Older Martian screams ...."MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM I PPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPED!!!!" I opened the door and said, " Today is the Fourth of July!! Happy Independence Day!" Rocco quickly replied, "Is it my Birthday? Is it my Birthday???" " Uhm no Rocco I said it was America's Birthday!!!" "C'mon Mom (as he shakes his head in disbelief)We should talk about this more downstairs after we get Pax." We headed to Martian 2's room and open the door. Of course Rocco does his daily impression of Fat Albert, "Hey Hey Hey!! Wake up Pax...we have to go shopping for Murikas Birthday." Pax of course replied, "Yes." At this point I didn't even want to tell him that there was no party. It was way too early for that kind of meltdown..... I get them fed and dressed for the day. I am knee deep in cleaning and sharply executing the perfect fitted sheet when Rocco comes busting through my door. " What's up with this Birthday party?" "Oh well later I will make cupcakes and we can all sing Happy Birthday!" " Look mom I don't wanna mess up your cabbage patch but I don't even know Murika and what kind of gift I would get it." "No no no Rocco it's the USA's Birthday." "Uhmmm no you said Murika..Now there are two Birthday parties??? This has to be a mixup." "Well Rocco they are one in the same." "What???? One in the same? Speak English. Now you listen here Mommy how are we going to go to two birthday parties,clean, and sing Gangham Style?? Oh and we have to eat Macaroni. Will they have that there?PAX!!!PAX???????? Where are you?? Come here right now...we has a problem!!! Mom said two parties." Pax comes walking in. " Rocco and Pax listen to Mommy...we are not going to any party today. Today is America's/Usa's Birthday. We celebrate our country and our freedom. There are many people who fought very hard and still do fight very hard to keep us safe and independent!! Here let me show you a picture of our founding fathers!" " Wait wait wait...so there is NOT a Party???" "Well we can have our own Rocco!" "WHAT AM I EVER GOING TO TELL MY UNICORN??? AND WHAT DO I TELL BACON( his stuffed pig)?!?? This is just a disaster. How can you NOT have a party and say its a Birthday?!" " Just come here boys and let me show you pictures of your founding fathers." We go to the computer where I pull up pictures of the founding fathers. "Look guys this is the large picture of the founding fathers." "Uhm Mom??? Where is dad in the picture?" "Your dad is not a founding father." "Yes he is...you say sorry he is my father." "Right babe I get that but the founding fathers are the ones who developed and founded our country." " Wow they have some bad hair.And that man (pointing to George Washington) has a rat-tail!! They don't look very happy to be having a birthday!!" "Well baby that is a very old picture they have all gone back to the earth." "Uhm that dude has a dress on. Why is he a father wearing a dress? Maybe he wants to be funny on his Birthday.Where are the decorations? Where is the Birthday cake?" "Well I think they probably just ate dinner together and stuff. That is not a dress that is a long coat." "Oh no Mom...that is definitely a dress. Pax is that a dress??" "Yesh" "Okay it's a dress Rocco. Now lets look at all of them men. They are.." "Mom...Can you tell me why that one man (James Madison) has a perm?" "Rocco they all have wigs on." "OHHHHHH....For their party today??" "Well...sort of..." "I need to know...Bacon is getting really upset." "Okay well you tell Bacon that we are celebrating July 4th and we can make Red,White, and Blue cupcakes." He runs in his room...... I get up to fold more sheets and here he comes again but this time he brings John the Penguin. "Listen here mom...John feels left out..he wants to know about Merika and those old dead men." "Okay bring him over here and I will explain." "No Mom...he thinks it's not fair we aren't going to Merika's house. We all took a vote and we rule. We are going to Merika's party. Dad told me that you can't spend money. He said to tell him when you go to Walmart and the number isn't over four zero.He say you have no clue how much a dollar costed him.So we better get going..you hear me mommy? This is not negoshhabul. Get dressed...those pajamas wont let you in Walmart." " Rocco for the last time we are not going anywhere. We are staying at home. It is raining and we need to just play here." "Hmmmmm I think I know what is wrong. YOU DON'T WANT TO PARTY AT MERIKA'S!!!! Well We do..Me, Pax, Mickey, Chuck Norris, Jack Bauer, Bacon, Madeline Albright, Duffy, Molly Ringwald, and......and.....those Old Dead Men." "Rocco I am making a party later tonight!! Come here and look at another one of America's landmarks. This is called Lady Liberty."OH MY GOD SHE IS GREEN!!! Is she okay? Does she need a bandaid or some Bennydrill???" "No Rocco she is made out of Copper." "She needs a banana" "Okay Rocco...would you like to now see the cupcakes I am making for tonight? You also get to see fireworks!" "Yeah yeah yeah I wanna see I wanna see....." "What do you think sweetie?" " I LOVEEEEEEE LOVEEEEEEEEEE LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE MARIKA'S BIRTHDAY!! We get to see Sparklerz and Have Pupcakes?!?! This is My favorite day ever ever ever! Happy Birthday Marika!!!